He'll Carry You

This morning, as I was getting ready for church, I was listening to my Sunday music. As I was doing this, a very special song came on. You probably know it. It is “He’ll Carry You”, by Hillary Weeks. It was, and has always been, a song that has touched me deeply. I feel impressed to share my thoughts with you about it!

So, the chorus goes something like this:

“He knew there’d be moments when no earthly words could take away your sorrow, and no human eyes could see what you’re going through. When you’ve taken your last step and done all that you can do, He will lift your heavy load and carry you.’

I stand as a witness to this truth. I can testify that the Savior came to this world for you and me. He came to live for us. And while He lived, He experienced a mortal life. He suffered for us. I know with all surety that He is perfectly aware of all the trials of life; there is nothing that you will ever go through that He hasn’t. He experienced all of the heartache and sorrow that you could ever endure, and He did it for you. There have been, and will be, moments in your life when you feel alone. There will be those times when you feel like no one understands your hardships. And even when people try to help, there will be times when their kindness cannot ease the pain. In these times, you must look to the Savior. In these times, know that He knows exactly what you are going through.

It is possible that there are trials that only you will experience. In those trials, understand that the Savior experienced that specific trial just for you. He wanted to know how to comfort you and give support. He loves you. He loves you so much that He sacrificed His life and atoned for you. He died for you. He did this so you could live to return back to the Father.

I believe all these things to be true. I believe in Christ. And not only do I believe in Christ, I have come to know of Him. He is my Savior, the one who will redeem me. He is my friend, and He is my brother. I am beyond blessed to know of these truths.

In addition to this, I add my testimony of God. I know that God is our Father, and we are his precious children. We are not just some number to him, but we are his literal children. He knows our names, our circumstances, and our hearts. He is our Father, and he loves us with a perfect love that we cannot comprehend. Our Father in Heaven loves us so deeply that he gave his son. With this, he enabled all of us to return back to him. With this, the Great Plan of Happiness was put into place.

I am forever grateful for this. I love this gospel.

The Stresses of Life

Things here have been here okay I’d say. Since the time that we have been home, I have just been working. Because I work up on campus, I only work twenty hours a week. So, I work for 8 in the morning until noon. Pretty sweet, right? With the rest of my day, I usually catch up on housework, make dinner, and wait for Dan to get home. However, since we have been home, Dan has not been to work. While we were gone in Missouri, Idaho received a bunch of rain. Typically, this would be a good thing, but it was the wrong time of year. With that, the Farmers are having a rough time…and Dan has not been able to work. It is a bit stressful because there are bills that need to be paid, but I know that everything will work out.

I find that all too often I get caught up in the stress of finances. I find myself constantly checking our bank account and wondering if we have the finances that we need to get by. I don’t know why I stress-it is not like it makes things any better. But I do. Thankfully, at the moment, I think that we are doing okay. But I am worried for whatever our future holds.

As you may know, I am going to school in the Fall. Because this is my "off-track" Dan and I had planned to pay for this from the money that we have, but I found out that I received an academic scholarship. It will pay for most of my schooling. What a blessing. But I wonder about the other things that we want and need. Like, at the end of the year, Dan and I would like another vehicle for when a baby comes. And we are planning on trying to have a baby in November. Can you imagine all of the expenses of it all? I’m a bit worried.

Not only these things, but other things concern me a little. I am set to graduate Winter 2016. After that, I will go to work in order to provide. That idea is a little scary in itself. Dan will then graduate Winter 2017….and have I told you what comes after that? Well, he now would like to become an orthopedic surgeon. That means medical school (4 years) and residency (4-5 years). All the while I feel that I am expected to provide. I am going to be a teacher, so I know that I will not make that much. That makes me nervous. And I feel that it will be nearly impossible to have children during that time. It is all just too crazy.

So, in case you could not tell, these thoughts have been consuming much of my time. Isn’t that sad? But today in church I realized something: while education and work is important, that is not why we are here on this earth. That is not what matters most.

I think that I am afraid that Heavenly Father will somehow loose track of me or forget me in the process of all of this. Within the last year, I have changed my name from Katie Evans to Katie Hulse. I am now a wife. Hopefully, this next year will bring a baby into the picture. And with that, my name will then by ‘mom’. A year later, I will graduate and kids will call me ‘teacher’.  Will He forget me? Will I be lost? Well, today I felt the distinct answer: I will never be lost, and I will never be forgotten.

I have realized that it does not matter what life throws my way, I am still a daughter of God; I am His precious daughter. With that, He is so aware of all of my concerns and worries. He knows the stresses that I am experiencing, and I feel confidant that He is here to guide me. More than this, I know that He is aware of all of my deepest desires and wishes. He knows that I want to be a good teacher, a great wife, and an inspiring mother. He knows my heart. I truly know this to be true. And because He knows of these desires, I believe that He desires them for me. He wants to see me fulfill these things; He wants to see me happy.

I am His daughter and He will never leave me. I have faith that He is by my side, walking me through all the stresses of life. I believe that He sees the righteous desires of my heart, and will lovingly grant me these things. I trust that I will be able to be a teacher, wife, and mother. I believe that I will be able to provide in those times that Dan is in school. And while that does not mean that things will be easy, I feel that I will never be left alone. I never have to be alone. If I turn to the Father in faith, I can make it.

I am must admit that I am still a little stressed about money, and still a little nervous about the things that are to come…but I am beginning to feel better. I need to put my trust in the Lord. And, by this, I mean my complete trust.

Elder Wirthlin, an Apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, has a quote that inspires me. It is something that I believe is a great source to turn to in times of struggle. He offers these words: "The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in.” 

I believe this to be true. I trust in the Lord. All will be well.

Understanding Adversity

A number of years ago, I participated in a Young Woman’s program known as Young Woman’s in Excellence. Here, the entire young woman and their supporters came together to recognize achievements throughout the year. And, like all young woman events, there was a cheesy skit that concluded the night. This night, our skit was called Snow White and the Seven Values. In our rendition of this child’s fairytale, Snow White was a young woman who spent most of her days singing with birds, dressing up in fancy gowns, and dreaming about marrying Price Charming in the temple.

Now, as we all know, Snow White, of course, had a wicked queen for her stepmother. Knowing that Snow White was the fairest of them all, the wicked stepmother did all she could to make Snow White fall. With this, Snow White had no choice but to run away. And from here, she was led to a cottage called Personal Progress, where the seven values lived. As the story unravels, Snow White begins to have a happy, wonderful life because she stayed close to all of the values. In fact, she was able to overcome various obstacles with these values. And, in the end, Price Charming came running in to take Snow White to the temple, and, undoubtedly, they lived happily ever after.

With the conclusion of the skit, it is obviously understood that if we stay close to the gospel, we will have happy fairytale lives. I have spent much time contemplating this thought. I wish that “happily ever after” was realistic, but I am afraid that it just isn’t so. While this is a beautiful thing to consider, I believe that with this understanding we are deceived---because the truth is this: our lives are not simple fairytales. In fact, the reality of life is far from a child’s tale. Here, in the world that we live in, the daily newspaper screams horrifying headlines. Here, in real life, good people are involved in accidents---children develop illnesses. In addition to those dismaying experiences, we live in a world where families and homes are broken. We live in a place where values and beliefs are challenged. Here, the life experiences we are all having can get pretty dark.

As I have grown up, I have met and visited will all sorts of people---and, with this, I have learned that one thing is for certain: no one is immune to sorrow and suffering of all kinds. However, as sad as that sounds, I have come to realize that challenges and adversity, as the Prophet Joseph Smith has taught, are “at the core of saintliness” and are an essential part of our Father’s plan for us. This teaching is further emphasized as we Romans 8:16-17: “we are the children of God. And if children, then heirs, heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.”  

Sheri Dew, former member of the Relief Society General Presidency, agrees with these principles by saying, “If you’re serious about sanctification, you can expect to experience heart-wrenching moments that try your faith, your endurance, and your patience.”

I believe that this is a hard concept to grasp. Too many of us are caught up in a false understanding that trials only come as a form as punishment. Too many of us are lead to believe that the wicked are those that suffer. To all of those that have had this thought, know this: burdens, trials, and struggles come to all of us---even to faithful, tithe-paying, temple-attending, scripture-reading, meeting-supporting Latter-day Saints. The gospel of Jesus Christ is not insurance against pain, it is resource in event of pain. When pain comes, and it will, rejoice that you have a resource to deal with your pain. Understand, burdens are just part of life, and we all struggle with burdens that are grievous to bear.  There is nothing reproachful about having burdens, and there is nothing wicked in the struggle.

Calfred Broderick has this to say about the matter: “I do not want you to believe for one minute that if you keep all the commandments and live as close to the Lord as you can and do everything right…and pay your tithing and attend all your meetings, accept calls from the bishop, and have a temple marriage, I do not want you to believe that bad things will not happen to you. And when that happens, I do not want you to say that God was not true. Or, to say ‘They promised me in primary…they promised me from the pulpit if I were very, very good, I would be blessed…[but] when [bad] things happen, do not say God is not keeping his promises to me. “

You may ask why, why do bad things have to happen to good people? Well, as we discussed earlier, it is to sanctify us; to make us more like our Father in Heaven. In addition to this, President Boyd K. Packer reassures us that, “ Life will not be free from challenges, some of them bitter and hard to bear. We may wish to be spared all the trials of life, but that would be contrary to the great plan of happiness, ‘for it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things’. This testing is the source of our strength.

When our faithful prophet, Joseph Smith, was in Liberty Jail, he cried to the Lord for a source of comfort in his time of sorrow, and the Lord gave it to him by saying, “If the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good”.

Nevertheless, when pain unbidden and unwanted comes into our lives, the natural man begins to question how could this possibly be for my own good? And at this moment of weakness, we join the thousands of voices in the chorus: “Why did the Lord let this thing happen?” Pointing our finger at God, we blame our Beloved Father for all of our grief and pain. But, doing this, we are but deceived. You see, our loving Father does not want us to suffer.

But we do suffer, and there are times when we suffer so much. There are times when trials come and we think we are not strong enough to make it. In these trying times, we should remember this: we have been assigned to take the test of mortality during the most rigorous and demanding time in the world’s history, but we have not been left alone. No, we have not been abandoned. Doctrine and Covenants 69:6 reads, “Be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord and with you, and will stand by you…”

In thinking of the Savior, my thoughts are turned to His time of distress. In the Garden of Gethsemane and on Calvary’s Hill, Christ pleaded to the father. However, though perfect, Christ was chosen to endure the hardship and sorrows of all things. And, as in all things, his response is the perfect example for our own response to trials: “Not as I will, but as thou wilt.” Later, our Savior gave an account of the pain of his own experience: “Behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; but if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; which suffering caused myself…to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit”. Knowing this alone reassures us that we can endure all things, for none is more qualified than our Savior to see us through our mortal trials than he who descended below all things. 

The Savior atoned precisely so we wouldn’t have to carry our burdens alone. He knew that this load would be too heavy for any of us. Thus He has promised, “Come unto me, all ye that…are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you…For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

I hate pain. I hate injustice. I hate loss. I hate all the things we all hate. But we all came to a world where we are not protected against this. Furthermore, I would like to suggest that we fought a war in heaven for the privilege to come to a place that we knew would be unjust. Doing this, every one of us accepted a personal set of challenges that sometimes seem to be earmarked for us personally. We understood this in our premortal existence.

Though this thought may sound overbearing, C.S Lewis offers words of encouragement by saying this, “God who foresaw your tribulation has specifically armed you to get through it, not without pain, but without stain.”

So, you will face some personal difficulties, but we can make it through! We are not alone; there is help. There is power available to both you and me, power beyond the veil. In closing, I would like to share this quote from our apostle Jeffery R. Holland:

“In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil, and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike--and they will--you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection. They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham's seed.”

Throughout these challenging experiences, we are refined and humble---we are taught and blessed. And when these thing happen, we can be powerful instruments in the hands of God to make us better people, to make us more grateful, more loving, and more considerate of other people in their own times of difficulties. 

Yes, we all endure hardships, individually and collectively, but even in the most severe of times, those problems and prophecies were never intended to do anything but bless the righteous and help those who are less righteous move toward repentance. Have hope and know that God and his Son loves us. “Jesus waits with open arms to receive those who finally overcome by faith and hope. His welcome will consist not of a brief, loving pat, but, instead, being clasped in the arms of Jesus.”

God lives and he does not live less though we have injustice and adversity, pain and unkindness. God is in heaven. We chose to come to this unjust world and endure hardships of all kinds. But God is God and he loves us. His son, Jesus Christ, lived and died for us. Because of who we are and because of who He is, there is hope for each of us; there is hope even in the times of our darkest despair. The uses of adversary are the uses that we put them to. It is my hope that we allow our experiences to purify and teach us, not define us and destroy us---this is my prayer for us all.